A good question, and I have asked it of myself many times (both before and after starting on the site) …. but the answers only become (slowly) clearer as I entered into process of actually doing it; that is, going through archival material, histories, writing the texts, critically assessing my work and all the rest of it. Even though the original conscious reason (I didn’t really want to enter the digital domain) was to make a last stand as a composer (after five years of composing music and studying anthropology, as well as having let go of my string quartet, I was increasingly becoming isolated, and hence not performing) I realised I had fallen out of the ‘mainstream’, (to whatever degree I was actually ever in it) as well as the ‘fringe’, and certainly wasn’t getting any invitations to compose by other organisations.

A feeling of increasing cultural irrelevance was compounded by the frustration of writing more and more material, yet no with real performance options, or vehicles to get it out and communicate with the world. Hence my ‘last stand’ by creating and utilising a website ….etc, you know the drift/spiel -”promote yourself, get out there” and …get rich/fabulously connected/well known/offered creative opportunities … blah, blah, blah …

A certain truth to all of that, most certainly, (and yes, I/ll not pretend that I wasn’t hopeful, either) but, as I progressed it took on deeper dimensions; psychic, spiritual (now there’s a word one uses but reluctantly, particularly in a medium as potentially self-indulgent and narcissistic as this) as it became a process of a life-review and overview of my creative journey. And in truth, it has helped me understand and put into perspective my own particular life-path, and encourages me to continue exploring and creating that which is my necessity: – which is just as well, because I also came to realise (as I am sure do many others) that a website, in and of itself, will not guarantee anything in particular, and can only serve as an adjunct to one’s own will and intent.

Deeper still, (and this is no reason to go creating a website) in going through this process, one comes to realise how short one’s time is, how fortunate we are to be alive, h in such (relatively) privileged circumstances, Best, I guess, to appreciate, and use wisely the time remaining, even as one prepares to let it all go.

RC, 3rd September, 2010